3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
