Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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