im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
accomplished twins. life is a go
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
