shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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