I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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