I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
