in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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