Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
