I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
