I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
