I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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