I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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