Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
