we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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