is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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