FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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