I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
