So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize