I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
