You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
