He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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