i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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