Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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