her vagine was all disorganized.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just want nice things and good sex
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize
