apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I checked into jail on foursquare
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
