Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
