Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
