I accidentally had phone sex last night
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
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Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha