I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?