Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
