If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
