Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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