You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
