member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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