how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
