She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
