My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
