does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.