I wish I could teleport
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
