worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.