Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life