Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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