Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
