he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
porn star boner night. come get it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
