So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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