Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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