Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
