if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
