dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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