yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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