youre lurking in front of me
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
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