i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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