My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
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I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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