The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
