please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
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