that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just threw up on my dentist
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
