i would punch a child for taco bell
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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