I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
