Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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