All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
