Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
