There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
