I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I looked at my own cervix.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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