You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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